This site is about love, sex, and pleasing your partner. The one and only rule on this site is this: If you want to be a great lover that is sought after and appreciated, you MUST focus on pleasing your partner, not yourself. We all know that we can please ourselves, the true mastery comes from giving such pleasure to another that they want (crave), nothing more than to please us. Once you have achieved this then selfishness has left the sexual relationship and incredible things will happen. Keep in mind that even the best sex positions in the world won’t help unless you learn to…
FOCUS ON YOUR PARTNER.
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One of the easiest ways to transform into a better lover is to open up to the idea of incorporating new sex positions. It’s a fast and simple method for adding a bit of variety and excitement into a couple’s repertoire. In the beginning of a sexual relationship everything is moving at a quick pace and much of the focus is about determining each others likes and dislikes as well as rhythm.
After a couple has achieved a level of comfort with one another it can be a fun time to experiment with some new sex positions. Oftentimes each person will have a position or two that they are fond of and would like to include in the regular sexual routine. This is how a couple establishes its foundation of moves. Once the foundation begins to become tedious adding in some exciting new sexual positions can really increase the intimacy, fun and most of all the pleasure.
One of the greatest benefits to having a wide array of sex positions is that you can constantly be shifting the responsibility. It’s nice to be able to take a break after 10 minutes of continuous action. This also allows the other person to be in control for awhile and sometimes it’s just nice to change the scenery. For the sake of consistency we will be discussing these positions with the assumption that they will be performed in a bed.
We do not recommend limiting sexual intercourse to the bedroom environment only. Different settings are a great way to create and leverage a variety of positions. The increased excitement of having sex in a new locale can heighten the pleasure considerably.
Missionary – This is what is believed to be the most traditional of positions, however as the name indicates it may simply be the style that was most promoted by the churches and its proponents. Nonetheless, it is a fine position and one that can be easily achieved by most couples. The position is accomplished when a man is lying on top of the woman, with their hips parallel to each other. The man’s legs are inside of the woman’s with his knees on the mattress between her spread legs. A nice variation that can give the women more control and will allow her to use her vaginal muscles to squeeze is to have her wrap her legs around the man so that she can draw him in whenever he thrusts.
This position is perfect for kissing and allows easy access to the neck and ears, which are hot spots for many of us. By adding a pillow or two under her butt, you will achieve a completely different sensation, especially for her, because her pelvis will be angled upward guiding your thrusts directly into her g-spot area. The man can also slide slightly higher on her body once he’s inside her so that the penis will be more likely to rub against her clitoris. For this and all the following positions slight adjustments in positioning and pace can have be the difference between Eek and Oh God, so be sure to practice, practice, practice.
Doggy Style – It used to be that some women would be reluctant to participate in this position because it can make them feel more vulnerable than other positions. On their hands and knees with their butt up in the air, combined with fact that you can’t see the person who is behind you, can amount to a small hurdle. However, once you get past this awkwardness, you will begin to appreciate the potential of this position. With the woman on her hands and knees and the man behind her on his knees (or standing on the floor for added power and mobility) both parties are in a position that allows for a lengthy back and forth. Adjusting the height and angle of entry can drastically change the feeling for both people. If you’d like to attempt a slightly more advanced move, the man can hold up one of the woman’s legs which will allow the balls to stimulate the outer lips and clitoral area. A word of advice, while you may regularly see it in porn, not all women enjoy being slapped on the ass or having their hair pulled, so make sure it will be appreciated before committing too heavily to either of these techniques.
Spooning (Side-by-Side) - This position is considered to be very sensual. Due to the fact that the man’s torso is up against the woman’s back there isn’t much opportunity for separation which increases the heat and sweat that will be generated. Also, because of the closeness of the two bodies it is naturally going to produce a slower and more measured pace, which is why this is a great lovemaking position. I’m not saying that it doesn’t have it place in an extreme fuck fest (pardon the crude language it’s merely being expressed in this way to make a point) but it tends to be more tender and intimate, marked by ear whispering, back and neck kisses. Spooning also puts you in perfect position to reach around to grab and massage the breasts which can offer greater control and leverage than simply holding the hips. Lastly, make sure to learn how to reach over the hip and finger the clitoris while staying in a nice rhythm and both you and your partner should find great appreciation for this move.
The Saddle – The man sits on the bed with his legs splayed out flat in front of him, supporting his weight with his arms stretched out behind him. The woman sits in the man’s lap facing him in a straddling position. Her weight should be comfortably distributed between his lap and her knees. From this position the woman can control the depth of entry and the speed of the thrusting. Deciding when to go hard or soft as well as fast or slow means the woman can guide the man right into a perfect rhythm with little effort. This is also a great compromise for women who may be too shy to ride on top while the man is lying down staring up at her because the pose keeps the two bodies close together and the eyes relatively level.
The Reverse Saddle – The man’s positioning is the same as above but when the woman gets into the straddle position on the man’s lap she does so with her back facing him. This allows her to place her hands on the man’s legs or the bed to balance and use as leverage during thrusting. Both saddle positions are a nice change of pace because the woman controls the action and the man can sit back and enjoy the “ride”.
Diamond Ride – This is the standard woman on top position with a slight twist. The man lies down on his back and the woman kneels over him in a straddle position. But instead of simply grinding up and down or front to back, she moves around on his penis in the shape of a diamond. This will stimulate the entire vaginal canal as well as creating an incredible sensation for the penis.
Diagonal Ride – While the man is lying on his back, he bends one knee and places a foot on the bed. The woman straddles him sideways so that his raised knee is resting against her stomach. At first this may seem like an awkward position, but if you can figure out the angles, everyone can be very comfortable allowing for nice uninterrupted period of deep penetration. The woman can also gain added friction by grinding against the man’s leg and can also use it for extreme leverage.
Heels over Head – While the woman lies on her back with her legs up at a ninety degree angle, the man kneels next to her with his knees beside her hips. Her legs can be straight, resting against the man’s body, or if she is flexible enough can bring them closer to her head.
The extreme version of this would be to have the woman place hers legs all the way behind her head, completely clearing the way for a very deep penetration. Keep in mind though that the closer the woman’s legs are together the greater the friction and tighter the fit will be.
For the less flexible females she can bend her knees placing her feet on the man’s shoulders or chest which will also allow her to push back slightly on him to shift her hips and pelvis to find that perfect point of entry.
Yet another variation is to have the woman cross her legs at the ankles and rest them on the man’s torso which will create a much tighter point of entry which everyone should attempt assuming everything is properly lubricated. This position while simple in theory has many different options that can be explored so try subtle shifts in entry and weight distribution to find your favorites. The woman’s legs pressing against the man’s chest, the man’s chest leaning into the woman’s legs, pillows underneath the woman’s butt or no pillows. It all works it’s just a matter of personal preference.
Face Up Wheelbarrow – This position is thought to be a champion at achieving a g-spot orgasm, something that many women long after and even question its very existence; this position may just be the proof they’ve been looking for. This move is more of a power move and therefore is not to be attempted by all. The woman lies on her back with the man kneeling or standing between her legs. The man holds each of her legs, lifting her off the bed and onto his inclined legs, dragging her onto his penis by pulling her legs closer. The woman’s butt will likely be sliding up and down his lap as he pulls her up and in and then pushes her down and away, holding her all the while. Depending on the whether the man is standing or kneeling, the woman can either hold his arms or shoulders or sometimes plant her hands on the bed. It is the angle that the penis will be entering and leaving that should rub along the top of the vaginal wall that will stimulate the g-spot area. The woman can also assist by drawing herself in, using her legs for added thrust. Keep in mind, for this maneuver to work the man will have to be strong enough to hold the majority of the woman’s lower half while still “smoothly” pulling and pushing.
Face Down Wheelbarrow – This position has the same general idea of lifting while pulling and pushing the woman’s lower half to create the internal friction. However, this position will be working the opposite side of the vagina, focusing stimulation against the rectal wall. To begin, the woman should get herself into a doggy style pose (hands/elbows and knees) close to the edge of the bed with the man standing behind her. He then takes her legs and lifting and pulling her in then smoothly pushing her away as the penis drags along the vaginal wall.
Bronco – The man sits in a chair with his hips at the edge so that the woman can stand over him with her feet on the floor. While straddling him she can raise and lower herself onto his penis using her legs to control the separation and speed while she “rides” him. This position can get a little rough for the man, think rodeo. As with almost all moves this one offers a great reverse pose as well.
The Chair – This position is very similar to “Bronco” except that the man’s legs are apart and the woman is inside them facing away. The man sits at the edge of a chair or bed, reclining slightly. The woman sits down on his lap with her back to him, keeping her thighs locked together, slowly grinding away. This position offers a tight fit and a ton of slow friction. This is basically the sex version of a lap dance at a strip club. Men, with this kind of mind blowing friction, it can be easy to forget to reach around and gently rub the woman’s clitoris and or massage her breasts while she takes care of the real work.
Standing Bend – This is the most common alternative to doggy style. The woman spreads her legs while standing and bends over a couch, bed or table. The wider the woman spreads her legs the better, because when the man is inside her stance banging away, his balls will offer a secondary stimulation to the clitoral area. Switch it up a bit by varying the width of the woman’s stance and you can manage to find a much tighter fit. This is a great “rough” position because the leverage created by standing allows you to put a good deal of power and speed behind every thrust. Be careful not to hurt yourself or your partner.
Standing Lift – If you possess the required strength this can be an incredible position. The man and woman face each other and the man basically sets her on his penis while she wraps her legs around his waist. The man places his hands on the woman’s butt both for support and to draw her in as close as possible. For many women the vulnerability of being up in the air and the pressure that is created at the point of entry can make this a top pick. For men the feeling of being in total control is a big turn on.