10 Naughty Fingering Tricks

If you have been wondering what new thing you can do in the bedroom to really give your partner maximum pleasure, I have the answer for you today. The only thing is that you won’t be doing something new, you’re going to be bringing back an old sex move that you might not have used for a good long time.

This is an oldie, but I can guarantee you that it’s also a goodie. Let me take you back, remember your first sexual experiences with your first girlfriend? Stealing kisses in the dark and the first time you ever slipped your hands down into her underwear and between her legs. It brings back memories, doesn’t it?

And knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do.

Here are our 10 best tips for ensuring your next fingering — aka hand sex — session is a steamy hit.

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• 1. Keep It Clean

  It might seem rather basic, but be sure your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed and clean. In fact, it might be fun to exfoliate and moisturize your hands before playing with your partner.

  If you have longer nails or a special manicure you may want to wear a glove and put a cotton ball at the tip of each finger. That way the cotton creates a cushy barrier between your nails and your partner’s body.

• 2. Consider This Anatomy Lesson

  Porn would have us believe that when it comes to any kind of penetration of the vagina, deeper is better, but that’s not always the case. The majority of nerves are located in the first one-third of the vaginal canal, so going super-deep isn’t really necessary unless that’s the sensation she would like.

• 3. Reach for the Lube

  Lube is an absolute must during hand sex. The fingers against a clitoris — or inside a vagina — require a barrier and some extra lubrication to not feel like sandpaper pushed up against your nether regions. Always generously lube up your fingers and her clitoris before moving forward.

  Personally, I recommend a high quality water-based lube like Pjur or silicone-water-based hybrid like Fuck Water.

• 4. Start Slow

  Remember that fingering a woman’s vagina isn’t meant to look or feel like a jackhammering penis — unless your partner specifically asks for that! — so the fast in-and-out rigid finger thrusting we often associate with fingering likely won’t be the way to go

  Keep in mind that the vagina “tents” and elongates when aroused. For that reason, you’ll want to be sure your partner is especially aroused and receptive to penetration before inserting a finger — or anything else, for that matter.

  One sexy move to try as you’re working on getting your partner hot, bothered, and ready for more: Cupping the vulva to let the heat of the hand transfer to the vulva can be very sensual.

  In general, it’s ideal to go slow anytime you start a new sexual activity, says Hodder-Shipp. That way, you can see how it feels and get into the groove of it. Not to mention that, at times, fast movement in the vaginal area can feel uncomfortable, especially as you get started, she notes. All of that said, be sure to ease into penetration of any kind.

• 5. Zero In On the Clitoris

  As you begin to ramp up the intensity of the act, focus on her clitoris — especially the outer part at the top of the clitoris. This organ is the only one in the entire human body whose purpose is pleasure. It has 8,000 nerve endings in the external glans alone, which is double the nerve endings in the glans of the penis.

  Much like with oral sex, hand sex will most likely deliver an orgasm when your partner moves in a consistent motion over the glans clitoris. However, unlike oral sex, you’ll want to be a bit more gentle when you’re using your fingers. If you press down too hard, it can become uncomfortable.

  Use your pointer and middle fingers to make clockwise circles around the clitoris. Then, they can try moving your fingers up and down, side to side, or in a figure eight.

  Watch her reactions, and don’t be afraid to try something else if it isn’t working for her.

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• 6. Spend Time at the Very Front of the Vaginal Opening

  Although the clit is often essential for reaching orgasm, you’ll also want to stimulate the very front of the vaginal opening, as it’s packed full of nerves.

  The bottom of the opening, called the fourchette, is an excellent place to tease and touch. Try pressing your fingers around the vaginal opening. Perhaps slip a finger inside. Don’t stop there, touch and tease the labia. Perhaps she’ll enjoy some gentle tugging. The labia cover the internal legs of the clitoris. Try different things and see what works for her body.

• 7. Remember That the Receiving Partner Is in Charge

  Your partner is really the one in charge. Only they know how it feels and what adjustments they might need for it to feel pleasurable, so it’s essential to be present and ready to receive feedback and pay attention to what your partner’s voice and body language sound and look like.

  Although some people make noises and will say exactly what they want — or don’t — it’s important to bear in mind that not everyone feels comfortable making vocal noises as they receive pleasure. So while quiet isn’t necessarily a bad sign, it’s a sign to check in and ask things like, “how does that feel?”, “do you like that?”, or “want some more lube?”

  And don’t be nervous about switching things up in the moment in order to find your groove. While stimulating the clitoris, switch between using your fingertips, full length of your fingers, and even the palm of your hand. Ask your partner, “More pressure or less pressure?” Some people need light pressure while others like a lot of pressure.

• 8. Once You’ve Found a Rhythm That’s Working, Keep It Up

  Though you might be looking for a go-to cadence that’s guaranteed to leave your partner breathless, there is no one “best” rhythm to follow. Every woman responds to finger and hand stimulation differently.

  Still, once you find a rhythm that seems to be working — either because your partner is moaning and saying “yes, exactly like that” or their hips are lifting and moving along with the motion of your fingers — do not switch it up. Keep that rhythm until your partner says they’re done or orgasm happens.

• 9. Try This “Twist”

  Remember that your fingers have joints and can curl and bend.

  When it comes to penetrating your partner with more than one finger try this variation: Make a V with your index and middle finger. Twist those fingers as if you’re crossing your fingers for luck but keep both fingers fairly straight as they curl. Use your crossed fingers to penetrate the vagina, and begin to slowly twist your wrist creating a swirling effect.

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• 10. Know When to Hit the Brakes

  If anything hurts or feels uncomfortable or unpleasant, or it feels like you have to push your fingers inside, take a break or stop and do something that she enjoys better.

  Most important is to keep communicating. Always remember that if you’re not sure if something is working, simply ask: “Does this feel good? I want to make sure what I’m doing feels good to you.”