I love the 69 position. Period!

If there is one position outside of missionary and doggy that works for both of us, it’s the good old 69.

The 69 sex position is perhaps one of the most famous out there. For both partners, it’s an excellent way to explore each other’s bodies and experience mutual stimulation and pleasure.

However, it’s by no means the easiest. For some people, getting into the move is a demanding task, with one person having to straddle and lean over the other. Since both partners are being stimulated at the same time, maintaining concentration can also be… challenging.

It is one of the best oral sex positions though, so it’s worth a try. Whether you just want to know how to do this move or you’re looking to expand your list of best sex positions more generally, we’ve got you covered.

  • Start with the basics

    The most common position is this: Partner A lies on their back, and Partner B positions themselves on top of them, lining up their genitals with Partner A’s mouth (and vice versa). Then, get to licking. If you’ve never 69-ed before or you’re with a new partner, this is a great, simple starting point.

  • Choose a comfortable surface

    This isn’t a sex position for the bedroom floor and it’s definitely not one for shower sex. For comfort for all, choose a surface like a bed or couch that’s going to be supportive and soft on the bottom partner’s back and the top partner’s hands, knees, and/or elbows.

  • Add a pillow

    To make things more comfortable, the person on bottom can place a pillow under their head. (They even make sex pillows that are firm enough to support you in this kind of position.)

  • Switch up positions

    There are plenty of variations on the classic 69. Some people find it more comfortable to simultaneous perform oral while both partners are lying side-by-side, instead of one on top. But people can get really creative with positions. You can have one person lie with their head hanging off the bed, while the other bends over them, for instance. If you’re a newbie, though, focus on what feels comfortable first — if you’re too distracted by contorting yourself into a fun position, you may not be able to focus on your pleasure.

  • Stay playful

    Getting the hang of 69-ing can be as awkward as it can be hot. So try to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing, and be willing to laugh at yourself if things go awry. Nothing can kill a vibe faster than embarrassment.

  • Use your tongue & your hands

    You can use all your best oral sex moves while 69-ing. Some crowd-pleasers: Lick and suck the inner thighs and area around the clit or penis head, in addition to focusing right on those super-sensitive spots. Swirl your tongue in a clockwise motion, then switch to counterclockwise. And most importantly, listen to your partner’s words and reactions to your movements, and keep doing what feels good for them. Incorporate your hands too, by inserting a few fingers into the vagina or anus, if your boo is cool with that.

  • Use lube

    Typically we don’t think we’ll need lube during oral sex as there’s plenty of saliva in the mix, but it can really help. Lubricant can be a useful addition to the 69 sex position because it can help to reduce discomfort during oral sex. Saliva is a natural lubricant that can be effective for some people, but it may not always be slippery enough, especially for longer or more intense sessions.

  • Try a finger vibe

    Really, any toy is fair game while 69-ing, from magic wands to rabbits. But take it from experience — larger toys can be difficult to manage during this sex act, when you’re overcome with pleasure and trying to stay balanced. That’s why I like finger vibrators, which slip right on your digit and add a little oomph to your regular hand play. Also a safe bet: butt plugs.

  • Speak up

    Make sure to tell your partner when something feels just right, or if something is uncomfortable. And remember: If at any point you decide you’re done, it’s fine to say so, even if no one “finished.” You can always try later — or cross it off your sexual bucket list for good.